Please Please Please Please (song lyrics)

Part of the art of songwriting is the ability to place oneself in another's reality. For this song I had to imagine myself in the mind of a sad, middle aged man with a sex life so disastrous that he has resorted to asking nicely for it. Of course this was a long stretch for me. I'm told that when I perform this song I appear tragic and desperate but that's only because I'm a brilliant, brilliant actor. 

The song is performed with a jaunty ska feel so it isn't as sad as it looks in print.


Please Please Please Please.

Please, please please please sleep with me.
Won't you please, darling sleep with me?

I'll buy you a drink and I'll score you a smoke,
You'll be in the mood once you've had a toke, 
If you need some coke well I know this bloke,
Yeah whatever it takes to give your engine a stoke.

Won't you please, please please please sleep with me?
Please, baby sleep with me.

Believe that I'm cute or do it out of pity,
Will it help if I tell you that you're pretty?
I'll use all my best lines, my charm and my witty,
'Cos I'm so alone in this hot cold city.

So please, please please please sleep with me.
Won't you please, darling sleep with me?

I don't expect no Karma Sutra atheletics,
No pornographic calisthenics.
No silly rock star twelve hour tantrics,
Just a sweet tune, old fiddle, old dog, old tricks.

Please, please please please sleep with me.
Please, won't you sleep with me?

You're here alone.
I'm here alone.
Come on baby baby throw this old dog a bone.
Please.

I've got my own hair.
I've got my own teeth.
Will it help if I say I'll wear a sheath?
Please.

Please won't you let me take you to bed?
Or you can take me 'cos I'm easily lead.
Together we can ride in the two person sled.
You bring the tail, I'll bring the head.

So please, please please please sleep with me.
Won't you please, darling sleep with me?

Parkstreet.